No one is fully selfish, but no one is fully self-less either. This is the dichotomy of being a human being. Even Mother Teresa must have had selfish thoughts all the time, thinking on what kind of humanitarian legacy she will leave behind. And even the most narcissistic person you can think of probably has at least one person that they truly care about other than themselves.
I believe that in order to truly be a good person, you must understand and accept this dichotomy. From the cradle to the grave, or default state is selfishness. Usually the older you get, the more selfless you become. Though not necessarily. There’s a big myth that recent parents like to say that having children makes you less selfish. While there is some truth to this, they are only being selfless to the one, two, or to how many children they might have. They are still being selfish to the rest of the world, in some instances even more selfish.
Selfishness is the reason why when we see a peer, an acquaintance, a friend, or even a family member doing something good for themselves, we have a hard time being genuinely happy for them, even though we might literally tell them that we’re happy for them. What we do however is find something that’s wrong or what they’re doing wrong. We sort of give backhanded compliments that are not even related to the issue at hand. This is because we have a really hard time relating to others if we don’t see ourselves reflected.
I certainly am as selfish as anybody, and I struggle to be more selfless with the people I interact with on a daily basis, but I try to focus my selfishness inward instead of outward and I do this by following the old principle that says that if you have nothing good to say, then don’t say anything.